One Day at A Time When Grieving

The Bereavement Process - normal reactions in 3 phrases:

1. A person must achieve "emancipation from the bondage of the lost in their life." The bondage may include feelings of guilt and shame. And there may be feelings of regret for things left unsaid or undone.

2. A person must make an adjustment to all the aspects of the environment from which the loss in their lives is missing.

3. A person must be able to form new relationships - which is known as redirecting energy in new roles. When the grief is linked to a missing object then reconciliation will be needed in coming to acceptance that it is lost.

One major obstacle to working through grief and loss is desire to avoid the accompanying emotions and intense physical distress. The strategy of avoiding grief only prolongs the survivor's physical, mental, and emotional preoccupation with the loss in their life.

In some cultures, when dealing with intense emotions of grief are considered inappropriate. When a person experiences grave trauma, some counselors suggest that the early part of denial to what is lost or grieved to a person in their life can help with current immediate demands of current living day by day. In time a person then might set aside the time to grieve the lost from their life after the demands are met. The lost of a loved one comes after a long period of painful illness. Not dealing with grief and suppression can have consequences of depression and severe depression once the grief comes bubbling up out of the persons psyche so acknowledging the grief of the lost when you, the individual, is ready is essential. There is no time limit on when start or even finish to the grieving process. 

Depression and confusion that accompany grieving may decrease a person's sensitivity to their own physical health and pose risks to their mental health. People in deep mourning may have feelings of usefulness or emptiness that prevent them from seeking help for their own physical or emotional health problems. Some people try to cope with their grief by increasing their use of medication, alcohol, or tranquilizers, which can threaten their physical health. Loss of appetite, lack of sleep, and loss of personal interests among other symptoms contribute to the pattern of increased vulnerability.

The chronic grievers comprised people whose lives were suddenly disrupted. These individuals tend to be preoccupied with a search for meaning as they tried to make sense of the lost in their life. Usually sustained experiences of yearning for, thinking about, and talking about the lost in their life.

Ambiguous loss mostly refers to people who are lost loved ones in a person's life. It can also refer to pets too as some people consider pets a member of the family or fur baby. There are two types of ambiguous loss. First, is the person or pet is missing and may be dead, but there is no physical remains. Second, the person or pet, mostly found in people more, is physically present but unable to participate in any meaningful way in the family interactions, like being in a coma or a mental disease like Alzheimer's. For those people who deal with lost in their life and going through bereavement they struggle daily with the positive benefits of caregiving that the human condition truly is. Caregiving provides a person with the feeling of being needed, important, and effective as they address and tend to the needs of another person or pet so grieving when a spouse, child, parent, pet or other family member dies can be great significant of loss in a person's life. Grief takes times and not a measure of time, but with one day at a time makes it that more manageable in a person's daily life.

Bereavement brings new opportunities for psychosocial growth. The intense experiences of sadness and emptiness are universal human emotions. Having these feelings are part of the human experience. Emotions of grief are highly unpleasant, but it is essential to human nature to grieve. Without experiences of grief, the moments of treasured happiness would mean less. These experiences help people understand essence and limits of their existence which provides a bridge for understanding the grief and unhappiness in self and others. Grief stimulates reflection about what is lost with new appreciation of the qualities of what type of relationship to have with others and things realizing the importance in the person's life. The bereaved person may begin to examine his or her own behavior, the valued qualities of relationship to the significance to what or who is lost in their life and how it can affect their relationship with others. When people grieve they may make resolutions to do a better job of supporting the current relationships they have by "staying in touch," "writing more often," or "making phone calls." Grief is a process that allows great reflection to not take any relationship for granted because nothing lasts forever. It is important to give grief the appropriate care and nurturance in your life. In bereavement, a person can find comfort in the faith, confidence, and hopefulness of who or what was lost, and be inspired to achieved with sense of integrity to keep on living one day at a time.